Greetings, brethren. Welcome to today's outfit. Was it organically crafted and birthed (birthed?!) from the core of my very own psyche? Well, I thought so.
But then I drank 2 lattes and it hit me: I was O, DUH subconsciously inspired by the lessons of BCBG's Fall 2013 when coming up with this ensemble. Lessons? Yes. I shall explain.
Lesson #1: Get your head inside a beanie, and never take it out.
Lesson #2: Triple up on your leather, son. It says, "I'm cool. I'm fresh. My grandmother knew about snapchat before you did."
Lesson #3: Pants are no longer a stand-alone option for your bottom half. If you are wearing pants without an accompanying skirt, dress, and/or kaftan over them, you are basically IN THE NUDE. Do not embarrass me, people.
Lesson #4: Your body is a temple. A temple of layers.
Lesson #5: Go forth, ye roughed-up sophisticate. Carry the wisdom of your urban elusive chic in the cool-ass slump of your shoulders. Stare straight ahead and furrow your brow. No one knows you used to watch Secret Life of the American Teenager every Monday for two years. No one.